


Whispers in the Night

by joannereads



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angsty sort of, M/M, Romance, Slash, Slow Build, donna knows all, honestly-these two can be such idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-13 08:25:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3374558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joannereads/pseuds/joannereads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey has drawn away from Mike, enforcing a distance neither enjoys but both recognise is needed. But Mike won't break, and maybe Harvey needs to finally relinquish control?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I won't break

Mike sighed and rubbed his eyes. His butt was numb, sat on the floor of Harvey’s office and propped up against his couch. Papers littered every surface around him, along with discarded highlighters, sticky notes and—he was fairly certain—a few brain cells. But that wasn’t why he was frustrated. Behind him, not six inches away, sat the man himself. Harvey, studiously reading through yet another brief linked to the merger they were trying desperately to prevent, was also studiously ignoring Mike.

Again.

Their relationship had always been fraught, their closeness unusual. But seven weeks and three days ago, Harvey stopped being _Harvey_ , and started being _Mr-Aloof-and-Irritating_. Mike could pin point the event to the second if needed, but it wasn’t. They had met with Daniel Sharp, a ruthless and somewhat intimidating investment banker, who was determined to destroy another company. But that wasn’t the issue. Daniel had flirted with Mike relentlessly that night, and Mike had reciprocated politely. He hadn’t wanted to upset a client, a powerful and very rich client. He was single, that thing with Rachel having blown apart months ago, and enjoyed the attention. Yet, after that night, Harvey drew away.

Not that Mike thought for one second that Harvey was interested in him. Straight as they come—Harvey had made it perfectly clear that he liked women. It hadn’t stopped him flirting with Mike. And he was handsy! A firm grip on his wrist, a guiding hand out of a doorway, leaning in just a touch too close in depositions. Mike made nothing of it, at all, until _after_ that night with Sharp.

 

So now they sat together but apart, the distance between them seeming unnavigable and ever increasing, despite the fact that neither moved. Yet, Harvey seemed to be changing his opinion. Over the last hour, his left hand had crept closer and closer towards Mike. Mere millimetres at a time, barely noticeable unless you were looking for it—and Mike really wasn’t. But he noticed just the same. Now, though, he had stopped his inexorable crawl. Mike was frustrated. In the dim light of Harvey’s office, Mike made a decision. No more hiding.

 

“You can touch me, you know. I won’t break.” He kept his voice soft, low, just the right side of dirty. And then he held his breath. The seconds that passed seemed to slow into hours, and Mike continued to work. His eyes unseeing, he kept up the pretence of reading by turning pages frequently. It was exactly four hundred and twenty seconds before Harvey moved again. His fingers brushed lightly across the back of Mike’s neck. The younger man fought every impulse within him, refusing to shiver or push back into the touch. Harvey had to come to this on his own.

 Several months ago, Mike had realised that he desperately wanted something—anything—with Harvey. It didn’t need to be much, he wasn’t after some mind altering relationship, but the closeness the men shared seemed to feed Mike in some way. The barest of touches, the tickle of Harvey’s breath across his ear, a smile over late-night take out—all these things kept Mike afloat in an otherwise empty world.

 

He was alone.

No parents, no Grammy, no Trevor, no Jenny—not even Rachel. He had no one except Harvey, and he needed their connection to keep breathing.

 

Now, in the shadows, Mike’s eyes fluttered shut as Harvey continued to caress the nape of his neck. Warm fingers ghosted through Mike’s short hair and stroked softly down the rounded nubs of his spine. Every solitary moment of the last few weeks was washed away with the soft strokes and Mike finally felt himself relax. He ground his teeth, biting back a contented moan, and refocused on the work in front of him. This was all he needed. It might not be what he wanted anymore, but it would be enough.

 

They sat like that, barely moving and, in Mike’s case, barely breathing, for an hour or so. Then Mike found it, found what they had been looking for, and he was both relieved and gutted in the same instant. He was glad they could stop this god awful merger and that the workload would ease for a day or so. It also meant they could go home, now. And he really, _really_ didn’t want to. He sighed wearily, and gave up. Lifting the sheet of paper into the air and a little behind, he said, “It’s here.” Harvey took the paper from him wordlessly, all contact between them severed. Mike leant forward, resting his forearms on his knees and letting his head drop. He was bone tired. Tired of the work and tired of the tension. It was too much work sometimes to maintain the pretence of happy-fake-lawyer.

 

“Indeed you have. This is it, the smoking gun. Good job.” Harvey’s words were like a soft caress in the darkness and, in a testament to how tired Mike was, shot a slight thrill through his body and straight into his dick. He fought for control momentarily and quickly won, but it had been a close call. 

“Let’s go home, Mike,” Harvey said, standing and offering a hand. Mike didn’t think twice before reaching up and letting Harvey haul him to his feet. It was the aftermath of that move he didn’t consider. Their bodies were barely inches apart and Mike felt the heat of Harvey in front of him. He wanted. In that moment he wanted. Everything he couldn’t have was right there and he **_wanted_**. He stepped back.

 

Distance. Space. Calmness. Control.

He needed these things now.

 

“You okay?” Harvey asked, his brow creased. Mike nodded, coughed, wiped a hand over his eyes.

“Sure, yeah. Too much Red Bull.” He smiled weakly at his mentor, his friend, his life.

_Oh shit_ he groaned internally. Did he really just think that?

“Home. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Mike gathered his tie, his jacket and his bag in order to beat a hasty retreat when he felt Harvey’s hand suddenly press into the flesh of his bared forearm.

“Let me take you, Mike. It’s too late to be riding the streets.”

Mike’s brain read way too much into that sentence and subsequently his tongue got tangled around his teeth as he tried to make a coherent excuse. Harvey snorted derisively and led the way out of his office, smirking and shaking his head. Mike had wanted to show he would be all right and he had failed.

 

He followed Harvey silently. It was only twenty minutes to Harvey’s condo from here, but forty-five to his apartment. He couldn’t let Harvey make the hour long round trip.

“Why not get Ray to drop you first?” he asked quietly. “At least then you can turn in. Better than carting me round the city.”

“Was always the plan,” Harvey replied nonchalantly.

 

They stepped out into the cold February night. The air was thick with winter, ice dusted the benches and leaves of the potted plants. Mike dropped his bag to the ground to shrug his jacket on and watched as Harvey strode forward to where Ray was waiting.

“Thanks for coming out so late,” he acknowledged.

“No trouble, Harvey, you know that. Are we taking Mr Ross with us this evening?”

“Yes, thank you.” Harvey slipped into the car and Mike stumbled wearily around to the other side and let himself in. The car was pleasantly warm and the seat far more comfortable than the floor he had ended up on for hours. Mike sank into the seat, rested his head back and closed his eyes. He just needed to stay awake long enough to get home.

 

Harvey settled in his own seat but his eyes wandered to the face of his exhausted associate. In his pre-sleep state, Mike had no idea that he was the focus of Harvey’s attention. Harvey’s mind, however, raced with possibilities. What had Mike meant when he said he wouldn’t break? And why had he let Harvey be so unprofessional with him? And for so long!

 

Harvey dragged his eyes away from Mike’s face and stared pointedly out of the window. He had acknowledged months ago that his relationship with Mike went beyond professional working boundaries. Nevertheless, he couldn’t allow himself to think about him in any other way. What they had was important, special. He had never worked with someone like Mike. He had never _known_ someone like Mike. Deep down, Harvey was terrified that he might do something to ruin what they had. And he also knew he was all Mike had left. He couldn’t jeopardise that for him, it was too important.

 

Harvey had forced the distance between them. Seeing Mike with Sharp he realised that he was being selfish, keeping all of Mike for himself. It wasn’t fair. He had an endless stream of bedfellows, but Mike had long since lost Rachel. And hadn’t that been a damn fine mess reaffirming everything he had ever believed about office romances. And about the two of them.  

But tonight? _I won’t break._ Shivers licked up Harvey’s spine and his fingers curled into his palm as he tried to wrest control of his emotions from his heart and back to his head.

 

“What's wrong?” Mike asked, his voice languid and warm. And so damn sexy.

“Nothing. Why?”

“You seem tense. Worried we missed something else?”

“No,” Harvey replied, “Not thinking about work.”

Harvey turned to look at the man beside him and was stunned to see Mike alert and focused.

“Don’t hate me,” Mike whispered, “Please.” Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Harvey’s. The kiss was gentle. Soft. And so very, very welcome. Harvey pressed his open palms against Mike’s chest, pushing him away.

“Shit,” Mike muttered, dragging himself away from Harvey and burying his face in his hands. “Let’s chalk that up to exhaustion and move on, yeah?”

“No, let’s not.”

Confused, blue eyes looked at Harvey. It was at that moment they pulled up outside Harvey’s building.

 

“Come up. I think we need to talk,” Harvey smiled.

Shakily, Mike followed him out of the car.


	2. Bad idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You and I are a very, very bad idea,” Harvey said quietly.
> 
> Where Harvey tries to talk himself both in and out of something before there is even something.

Mike followed Harvey through the door of his condo wordlessly. He hadn’t imagined the thin smile on the older man’s face, that he was sure of, but everything else was strange and confusing. Harvey strode ahead, depositing jacket, tie and shoes on the back of a dining chair before heading towards his bar. Pouring the two glasses of scotch was easy, drinking it was easy, talking with Mike was going to be a challenge. He sipped from his glass while holding the other out. Slowly, Mike stepped forward and took the glass. He stood unmoving and watched Harvey as he sat wearily on the couch.

 

“You and I are a very, very bad idea,” Harvey said quietly, before sipping again. Mike sighed audibly and stared at his mentor thoughtfully. He said nothing, waiting for Harvey to spill everything first. “We work together. A lot. I just think we need to maintain boundaries, stay professional. You need someone in your life who isn’t as arrogant and self-centred as I am.”

Mike stifled a laugh and slumped down in the chair facing the couch.

“What’s funny?” Harvey demanded.

“That load of shit,” Mike replied with a relaxed shrug. Harvey swallowed.

“How do you mean?” he asked.

“You could have said all that in the car, in seconds, and then been on your way. Instead, you brought me up here, gave me alcohol.”

Harvey thought this over for a moment, churning through his hasty decision making, before managing to find a plausible excuse.

“We didn’t need to keep Ray any longer than necessary, and he didn’t need to hear this.”

“Whatever you say,” Mike added, sipping his own scotch. He watched Harvey for what felt like an eternity, but it eventually became clear that he was drawing a line in the sand. Mike could either cross it voluntarily and risk rejection. Or he could leave and try desperately to pretend this never happened.

 

He stood up pointedly, hands shoved deep in his pockets. “At least I know where you stand,” he smiled sadly. He turned and walked towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Harvey asked, his voice pained, lonely, small.

“Home, Harvey.” Mike’s fingers begun to turn the handle when they were covered by slightly warmer, slightly rougher fingers. Harvey was next to him, crowded into his space. Mike’s heart stuttered in his chest.

“Don’t go yet, not like this.” Harvey’s voice was liquid heat and it swelled through Mike, filling the space between them.

“You don’t want me,” Mike managed thickly.

“I don’t _not_ want you either,” Harvey replied. Mike stared into the warm hazel of Harvey’s eyes and saw the internal battle that waged within.

“I can’t take you messing me around. I think it’ll just be safer for all if I go.”

  
Harvey’s fingers slipped off Mike’s and he stepped back, the sudden distant arctic in its frigidity. Mike had his answer then.

“It was never my intention to hurt you. I always knew that I was wrong for you. I’m too wrapped up in my own life, the choices I make designed to affect only me. You literally stumbled into my life and shook it apart. I’m still trying to put the pieces back in order.” Harvey sighed and his eyes fell to the floor.

“I think that is literally the longest speech you’ve ever given me where the only thing concerned was your feelings,” Mike smirked and Harvey’s cheeks filled with a faint flush as his gaze flicked back up to Mike.

“I never said I didn’t have feelings, just don’t like having them all out on display. They get in the way.”

Mike mulled that over for a few, long moments. Wasn’t that the whole, entire problem? Mike’s feelings were always on display and people took advantage of that all the goddamn time. But Harvey, he was respected, feared. Lonely?

“You make the choice, Harvey. Now. All of me or none of me. I can’t be taken apart, used for the parts you want.” Defensive, Mike’s arms folded across his chest as he turned to face the older man.

 

Harvey’s features twisted painfully. He really had no idea what he wanted, what he needed. Mike would have laughed if it wasn’t so typical.

 

And yet. Harvey had a dreadful track record when it came to relationships. They were friends, really good friends, and Mike understood in the heartbeats that passed between them, that Harvey was just as terrified of losing that as he was himself.

“Harvey? Listen. I have a proposal. Care to hear it?”

Harvey’s lips twisted into an approving smirk and Mike’s heart trembled a little. He nodded and Mike drew in a quick, steadying breath.

“We have one night. One night where you can have as much or as little as you want. Take what you need, tonight. If after that you want everything, then you can have it. If not, we scratch this night out and forget it existed. We put it down to exhaustion, alcohol, stupidity—whatever! And things go back to normal. And I mean pre-Sharp normal, not this weird thing you’ve been doing for the last few weeks.”

 

Silence swelled around the two of them as they stood in Harvey’s entranceway. Mike bit back the panic that invaded him at a cellular level and waited, focusing on breathing in and out, in and out, in and out.

“Counter offer?” Harvey said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Sure,” Mike shrugged, his arms still wrapped tightly around his torso as though holding himself together.

“We do this, you stay the night, and we talk like rational human beings in the morning. You change your mind, you want to pull your offer, then I accept that regardless of my own feelings. I don’t want you to lose everything because we took a risk.”

“We take risks every single day,” Mike replied before stepping into Harvey’s space. He did nothing more, but waited for Harvey to make the first move.

 

Harvey’s nerves were palpable. Or maybe they were Mike’s. No-one was overly sure in that moment, each watching the other intently. Slowly, Harvey lifted his hands and placed them either side of Mike’s face, little fingers skimming the younger man’s collar.

“Last chance to back out,” he whispered. Certainty radiated from bright blue eyes and Harvey finally, finally closed the distance between them. Soft, warm lips, accented with whiskey, closed over Mike’s. And the world fell away.

 

It was hard for Mike to describe how it felt to have Harvey’s body pressed against his own. The exhilaration was evident—their erections lined against each other as Harvey crowded Mike against the wall. But there was something else, something deep and fulfilling. To his mind, they should have been doing this forever, this press of lips and skin and heat. Still he held back though, making Harvey take the lead in this because he desperately didn’t want to push too far, to drive him away. His self-control was in tatters and the threads strained to hold him together.

 

“Mike?” Harvey whispered, his breath hot in Mike’s ear. “Are you okay? Do you want to stop?”

“God, no!”

“You look terrified,” Harvey admitted solemnly as he pressed their foreheads together.

“I am, but not of you, not of this.” He wouldn’t add anything else. Couldn’t. “Please, just kiss me,” he moaned and Harvey obliged, allowing his tongue to graze Mike’s lips. Mike yielded, and the kiss deepened until each was panting yet desperate for more.

 

Harvey’s hands slipped down from where they had been pressed to Mike’s face, and pushed Mike’s jacket from his shoulders.

“Are you sure?” he asked again. Mike drew back, unfastened his tie and toed off his shoes.

“Very. Whatever you need, Harvey,” he replied.

Harvey gathered Mike’s hand in his own and led them through his condo towards his bedroom.

 

Inside, the lighting was soft, the bed large and inviting.

“I’m not going to fuck you,” Harvey whispered. “If you want to go back from this, we can’t do _that_.”

“But—” Mike tried to interrupt. Harvey just shook his head.

“You said what I wanted. This is what I want.” In a silence punctuated with sharply drawn gasps of breath, Harvey slowly undressed Mike. Each inch of skin exposed was peppered with kisses and licks as Harvey tried to learn everything he could about his partner’s body. If Mike wanted to go back, Harvey wanted to remember everything in the detail that Mike would. He didn’t want to forget. Never.

 

Finally, Harvey slipped fingers in to the waistband of Mike’s underwear and slid them slowly down his hips. The skin below was soft, pale, but firm. Years of biking left Mike toned in all the right places, and Harvey silently hoped that he would be able to get to see just how fit Mike was. Right now, this was about showing Mike what could be.

 

Mike’s cock rose, thick and dark, in front of Harvey’s face and he hummed. God, how long had he really wanted this? It was so hard to tell, now, in the moment. It felt like hours since their agreement had been made, days, weeks. Could he really give this up if Mike wanted to? Could he step back and forget this ever happened?

“Stop thinking, Harvey,” Mike whispered, running his fingers through the older man’s hair and pulling him in closer.

 

As Harvey’s lips slid down Mike’s cock, slowly sucking him deeper, Mike released a filthy moan and Harvey’s mind silenced. All he could think and feel in that moment was Mike—his scent, the noises he made, _him_. Mike’s mind was similarly blank. For the first time in longer than he could remember, the constant noise in his head was silenced.

 

Harvey opened his throat, taking more in until he could barely breathe. He hollowed his cheeks, sucked harder, increased the pace, no longer sure that he could control himself. Mike’s body writhed beneath him, frantic in its need to be connected. Soon, far too soon, he was tugging at Harvey’s hair and he pulled back, sucking firmly as he went. As his mouth released Mike’s cock, his hand took over, and soon Mike was gasping his name as his release came hard and hot between them.

 

Harvey rose and went into his en-suite. Gathering a warm wash cloth, he glanced at his own expression. Lips red and swollen, pupils dark and wide, his face flushed. There was something else there that took a second or two to name. Happiness. He smiled at his reflection briefly before returning to the bedroom. He wiped Mike clean. The younger man’s eyes were watchful as Harvey tended to him.

“What about—” Mike began. Harvey simply shook his head.

“Not tonight. Sleep.” Harvey divested himself of clothing and then tugged Mike under the covers with him and wrapped an arm about his waist. His mind and heart were tangled together, desperately trying to separate the events of this evening from everything else that was Mike. Fear drove him to it, certainty that Mike wouldn’t want this when the cold light of day was upon them. Panicked, scared, Harvey tried to build walls to protect himself, even as his arms tightened around the warm body of the man he was pretty damn certain he had been stupid enough to fall in love with. 

Had he truly gone and ruined everything?


	3. Hotdogs and letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna knows everything-as always-and Mike knows nothing. So no surprises, really.

When Harvey awoke, dawn had barely broken over the horizon and the shadows of night still had their fingers hooked into the world around him. Glancing out across the city, lights twinkled uncertainly in the dwindling darkness.

Harvey glanced around the room, confirming his suspicion that Mike wasn’t there. He flopped onto his back and sucked in a few calming breaths. There was no need to panic yet. Get up. Check the condo. Maybe he’s somewhere else.

 

Yet, when Harvey sat up and looked around for his underwear, he realised all of Mike’s clothes were gone.

 

~*~

 

“Donna.” Harvey inclined his head politely and continued forward, paper tucked under his arm, coffee in hand. His black three piece suit and granite coloured tie reflected not only his mood, but also formed the last vestiges of armour he had left.

“Harvey,” Donna replied with a quirked eyebrow. “Something’s wrong. What is it? The merger?”

Harvey snorted and strode past her desk. While he prayed inwardly that she would let this go, he knew it wouldn’t be so easy.

“What is it?” Donna sank into the chair opposite and crossed one impossibly long leg over the other, fixing him with her ‘tell me or I’ll kill you’ stare. Today, however, Harvey found himself pretty immune.

“Late night, that’s all.”

“Strange. That’s what Mike said,” came Donna’s tart reply.

“We’re lawyers. Way of the world. Has Avery Marshall’s lawyer sent through the complaint yet?”

“No,” Donna answered, still eyeing him warily. “I’ll go chase it up for you. Should I let Mike know you’re here?”

“No. Thanks, but he’ll come round when he’s ready.” And wasn’t that just the most telling of statements.

 

Harvey wasn’t angry with Mike. Okay, that was a lie, but he understood. Fear did a lot of things, and it forced people to make stupid choices. Running, for example. But because he understood didn’t make it right, and Harvey was worried he’d lose his cool if he had to deal with this right now. It was his greatest fear—that he and Mike would be forced apart. Maybe Mike just needed time. Maybe this whole thing had imploded. But there was no point trying to resolve anything when his insides were churning with anger, hurt, betrayal and, even though it hurt more to admit it, loss. He had lost Mike and he felt lost.

God, it was going to be a long day,

 

 

“What did you do?” Donna demanded, her hands resting on her hips. She glared at Mike who, true to form, looked a little worse for wear. Tatty around the edges. His face was pale, lips red—oh shit!

“You slept with him!” she gasped, a little too loudly for Mike’s comfort.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Mike hissed, “And please keep your voice down.”

“With me, now,” was all she said as she stalked away to the elevators, her Laboutin heels barely thudding on the carpeted floor. With a resigned sigh, Mike locked his computer and trailed after her.

 

“Is he really such a mess?” he asked before Donna could say another word. They were sat on a bench, untouched coffees in their hands. The weather was cold, and neither had a coat, but Donna didn’t seem to notice. Mike tucked a hand into his trouser pocket to warm it.

“What happened?”

“We made a deal and I kind of broke it.”

“What was the deal?”

“I can’t say,” Mike replied sadly. “I won’t betray his trust and confidence as well. I’ve done enough.”

“Did you have a good reason?” Donna asked, placing a palm of Mike’s knee.

“Stupidity? Fear? Selfishness?” Mike rolled his neck, stress tightened the muscles and he needed to think. “I was afraid to lose everything, and in the end I think I threw it away.”

 

When Mike had woken, it was dark. The cityscape was a blanket of multi-coloured lights beyond the windows of the condo. For a few breaths, Mike tried to imagine his life here instead of in the apartment he had bought for Grammy, brought Rachel into, and now barely existed in alone. Harvey, with his designer everything, would he ever be able to welcome Mike into this space. Being honest with himself, Mike realised that he would never belong in this world. In Harvey’s world. He was an imposter in every sense of the word.

 

Just hours before, offering himself to Harvey, he truly believed that it was what he wanted. What he needed. And he did. But at the same time, self-doubt crept inside him and gnawed at his confidence until he had talked himself out of believing that Harvey would ever want this in return. How could he? A man like Harvey—powerful, rich, controlling, focused—would never be able to find a permanent space for someone like Mike.

 

Explaining all of this to Donna in the cold light of day, no matter how pale and wintry that day might be, made him realise—even more painfully—just how stupid he had been.

“What changed?” Donna asked softly, after Mike had poured out what was left of his heart for her to analyse and understand, probably better than Mike himself.

“We did, Donna. I changed. When I went away, I broke something between us. When I came back, it was all different.”

“You weren’t the rookie anymore,” she agreed solemnly. “You were an equal.”

Mike spluttered a laugh.

“Equal? We’ll never be equal.”

“But you are. You said things changed, and they did. Harvey started to protect you in a different way. You weren’t the kid fumbling along anymore, You were a junior associate, on the fast track and knowing where you were in life. You didn’t need his guidance and his help. Just his support. He gave you that in spades.”

Mike stared openly at Donna as realisation dawned on him.

“He sees me as his equal?” he breathed, uncertainty still tinging his words.

“Of course. You hold your own with Louis. You win cases and bring in clients. He’s older than you, more experienced, in everything,” she added, with a lascivious wink, “but you’re the same. Why do you think he kept Rachel on as his associate? He doesn’t need you in that way anymore.”

“But if that’s true, then my melt down just undid all that. Surely he’s already realising what a screw up I am.”

“Not a screw up,” Donna tsked. “You’re protecting yourself. Harvey of all people should be able to understand that.” Tossing her coffee into the trash can, Donna rose. She ran her fingers lightly through Mike’s hair and he looked up at her. Green eyes peered back at hims gently. “Explain yourself. He’ll get it. And if he doesn’t, then he’s a much bigger dick than I’ve ever given him credit for.” She smiled softly and then strode back in the direction of their building.

 

Just before lunch, a lunch Mike was fairly certain he was going to have to work through if he was going to get anything finished, Mike had a breakthrough. A plan formed, and that plan involved a phone call or two.

 

At exactly twelve oh four, Donna rapped on the glass of Harvey’s office. He lifted his eyes from the brief he was analysing and saw his executive assistant grinning wildly through the doorway.

“Delivery boss,” she grinned. She stepped aside to reveal Tony from the hotdog cart. He shuffled into Harvey’s office and placed a take-out carton on his desk.

“I didn’t order this,” Harvey said, sitting back in his chair.

“There’s a note,” Tony said, before nodding politely and shuffling off again. Donna simply closed the door, grabbed her bag, and disappeared.

Harvey glanced down at the carton and stared at it, hard. He knew who it was from. Only two people knew that Tony’s hotdogs were the best. And Donna sure as hell wasn’t going to by him lunch. That left only Mike, who had spent the morning hiding out in his office just down the hall. Carefully, Harvey lifted the envelope from the top of the box and placed it to one side. Opening the carton revealed two hotdogs—plain, just how Harvey liked them. Onions and mustard were no good when meeting with clients.

 

The envelope taunted Harvey long into the afternoon. He had eaten his lunch, Donna had returned and said nothing, and Mike’s letter remained unread. As darkness began to encroach into the offices, Donna stuck her head around the door and told him she was leaving.

“Is it that late already?” Harvey asked wearily. This day had truly been the longest in a very long time.

“Read it Harvey. It won’t kill you.”

Harvey glared at Donna, who simply glared back.

“What do you know?” he asked.

“Everything. More than you probably. And I know you’re going to leave it too late to fix this and you’re going to regret it forever. It’s like Zoe all over again.”

“Except this is different.”

“It is?” she asked, suddenly uncertain herself. “How?”

“I loved Zoe, I did, but I was never in love with her.”

“You’re in love with Mike?” she gasped, her face flushing.

“I thought you knew everything,” Harvey smirked. “Go home, Donna. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“But—”

“Night.” Harvey looked away, spinning in his chair to watch the sun set over his beloved city.

 

He had no idea how long he had watched and wondered, but one thing remained clear. This was it for him. Mike was his last shot at some kind of normal, happy life outside the walls of his office. Except Mike had bailed.

 

He had to analyse what the problem was. Fear stopped him opening the letter. If it was his _Dear John_ he didn’t think he could take it right now. Equally, if it was an apology, he wanted it in person. The letter, written in Mike’s own handwriting, was an enigma of worry and uncertainty. He turned away again, rose to put on some soft jazz, and took a seat on his couch with a glass of scotch and only his own thoughts to occupy him.

 

Meanwhile, just a few doors down, Mike was terrified. Donna had called in an hour or so before to confirm Harvey had everything, but hadn’t read the note. If Harvey chose to ignore it, it meant only one thing. They were over before they had begun. Mike’s system had long since run out of adrenaline, and only abject terror was keeping him alive now. If he had broken this, ruined this, he would never forgive himself.

In a fit of maudlin curiosity, he spent a half hour searching the internet for jobs for unemployed, fake lawyers. Without a job history or qualifications, it was either take away delivery person or janitor. Even scrubbing toilets seemed more appealing than sitting in this office, knowing Harvey was so close, and yet emotionally so far away.

 

In the end, everything had been so clear. He didn’t need to fit into Harvey’s life, he needed to make Harvey’s life fit around him. He wasn’t asking for money, or even a space in the perfectly manicured home of Harvey Specter, all he wanted was his affection, love and time. He had leapt to conclusions, raced ahead before they had even had the opportunity to find their own balance.

All he needed was for Harvey to read the note.

_Goddamn it Harvey, before it’s too late._

 

~*~

In the end, it was the early hours of the morning before Harvey summoned up enough Dutch—or was that scotch?—courage to open the note. The office around him was deathly silent, the record long since over. The cleaners had been and gone, and the lights in the corridor had dimmed as more and more of his colleagues had finally gone home. Finally alone—and wasn’t that a painful truth to bear—Harvey lifted the envelope from where it had taunted him on the coffee table, and turned it over and over in his hands.

 

On the front, just his name, underlined with a hurried curl. The back sealed. Donna had no idea what this note said, yet she had encouraged him endlessly to open it before she left.

 

He slipped a perfectly manicured nail beneath the corner of the envelope, and slid it along to release the gummed seal. Inside, a single piece of paper with just two words, scrawled in black ink and highlighted in yellow.

 

**_Forgive me._ **

 


	4. Eyes on me, Mike, always eyes on me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the end. Mike and Harvey realise just how stupid they both are, and then a little smut.

Harvey stood up and then sat down again. He had no idea what to do. The note was a bridge back to before, a time when things made sense and he wasn’t hurt or overly defensive. But he was hurt. Mike bailed and there was no explanation here. He needed a why because, if it was insurmountable, it was going to cause bumps in every road, then he couldn’t do it.

 

An idea begun to develop and his reflection was lit up with a half-smile he couldn’t supress.  He stood up and pressed his phone to ear, striding down the corridor. He stumbled to a stop when he realised that Mike was still in his office. His forehead rested on the heels of his hands and his eyes stared unseeing at the surface of his desk. Harvey’s brain churned rapidly over the options available to him. Carry on with the first—and very awesome—plan to try and clear everything up over an elaborate sequence of events, or sit and talk to the guy. He knew it had to be the latter, Donna would kill him otherwise, but he would’ve enjoyed the first one more.

“Hey,” he said softly. Mike, startled, stared wide-eyed at Harvey but said nothing. After a few, long moments Harvey gave up and sank into the chair opposite Mike’s desk.

“Tell me, okay. I’ll listen.” Harvey’s voice echoed in the small office.

“I don’t know where to start,” Mike replied, his voice soft and a little lost.

“The beginning. From when you left, I mean. I need to know why.”

Mike nodded and watched Harvey’s face for a moment before drawing in a shaky breath.

“I bailed because I’m an idiot. I couldn’t see how I could fit in with your life. Donna made me realise what an idiot I was being.”

“She does that,” Harvey smiled, genuinely.

“Anyway. I couldn’t explain it to you because I didn’t understand it myself. I do now. I’m sorry.”

Harvey stood up and wandered around the desk, resting on the edge next to Mike and forcing him to look at him, their eye contact prolonged and heated.

“You don’t need to apologise,” he said, his finger pressed under Mike’s chin, “But I need to know if you can do this or not. I can’t just be in it for now, until you get scared or bored or—” Mike lurched from his chair and pressed his lips to Harvey’s gently, his hand wrapped carefully around the back of Harvey’s neck.

“I do. I wasted time, time we could have been—”  This time it was Harvey who cut Mike off, standing himself and dragging Mike’s body close. The kiss was long, deep and hot. So hot. Mike ran his fingers down the side of Harvey’s face and then drew back.

“Do you forgive me?” The look in Mike’s eyes was sincere, hopeful, but there was an element of terror.

“Will it happen again? What are you afraid of?”

“Right now?” Mike asked warily. Harvey simply nodded.

“Losing you. It’s the only thing that worries me now.” Mike smiled softly and Harvey returned the gesture.

“Then how can I not forgive you when it’s my only fear as well. If we work together, as well as we always have, then we can’t go wrong. Can we?”

Mike drew further away and laughed. Harvey felt his walls slam back up—the ones that made sure he didn’t feel.

“What’s so damn funny?” he asked, folding his arms and smirking. Mike saw it, the ‘real’ Harvey creeping back in.

“Hey,” he said softly, placing his palms on Harvey’s chest above the barrier of his arms. “I was just happy, really happy. I thought, after Rachel, that I was done. This job keeps us separate from everyone around us and I found you.”

“I think you mean I found you,” Harvey sniffed, still not sure exactly how he should respond.

“Nope. I stumbled into your interviews and practically threw myself at you. Perhaps I should try it again?” he asked with a lascivious grin and Harvey finally laughed too, unfolded his arms and wrapped them around Mike.

 

Something shifted in the air around them.

“Where is this going?” Mike asked.

“Hopefully home and to bed,” Harvey replied with a grin.

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know how to live without you,” Harvey said softly, burying his face in Mike’s neck to hide his discomfort at discussing his feelings and emotions. “When you were gone, being a banker—” and no, Mike did not miss the emphasis placed there, “something was missing. I missed you.”

“It was too long,” Mike agreed readily, simply, and Harvey nodded into his neck, a silent agreement. “Can we go home now?” he asked, his breath hot on Harvey’s ear. Harvey drew back, linking their fingers together. He tugged Mike along behind him and they headed out of Pearson Specter and into the night.

 

~*~

 

The ride to Harvey’s condo was long and quiet, each man lost in his own thoughts. When Ray drew up outside Harvey’s building, each seemed to release a breath they didn’t know they had been carrying. Harvey glanced at Mike who smiled, nodded reassuringly and followed Harvey again. Perhaps, he realised, this was always what he was meant to do. Following Harvey comes as naturally as breathing.  It wasn’t submission or anything like that, they were equals in so many ways, but in others he just needed Harvey to lead him, support him, be there for him. And he can do that now, as well, they finally have each other. No more dancing around each other, no more pretending that there isn’t something there when there is. Finally, he had everything he ever wanted—and now he understood, _needed_ , as well.

 

“Do you want a drink?” Harvey asked, tossing his keys onto the side table as they stepped through the door. Mike said nothing and Harvey turned, worried. Then he saw the way Mike looked at him.

“Take me to bed,” Mike said, his voice barely a whisper.

Harvey nodded, led the way and Mike followed.

They shucked off shoes and jackets as they walked.

Harvey pushed open the door to his bedroom and Mike followed.

Harvey began to unfasten his shirt and Mike followed.

 

“Are you sure?” Harvey whispered into Mike’s neck, before placing a gentle kiss.

“Yes,” Mike said, wiping away the last moment of Harvey’s self-doubt.  “You can have all of me, Harvey, always.”

Harvey pressed another hot kiss to Mike’s neck, and another, as his hands unfastened button after button of Mike’s shirt. Finally, finally Harvey’s fingers found flesh and Mike’s lips whispered a litany of words as Harvey traced the younger man’s ribs slowly, slowly.

“Harvey, please,” Mike moaned and he felt Harvey’s lips smile against his chest before licking his way back towards Mike’s mouth. Slowly the layers of clothing were peeled away until all that remained was flesh and heat and touch.

 

Harvey pushed gently until Mike lay on his back. He took a moment to stare at the man laid out for him and hummed. “Gorgeous,” he whispered, more to himself than ever intended for Mike’s ears.

“Please,” Mike repeated. He had no idea why he seemed to be beginning. Perhaps reassurance for Harvey that this is what he wanted, needed. Closeness. “In me, Harvey.”

Taking his time, Harvey leaned down and pressed himself against the length of Mike’s body.

“So greedy,” he whispered.

“Wasted so much already,” Mike replied, his words hot in Harvey’s face. “Let’s not waste more.” Harvey nodded and reached into the drawer of his bedside cabinet. 

Gently, so gently, he prepared Mike. First just the pad of a finger, massaging and stretching and pressing, until he slipped inside. Mike was hot and tight and Harvey ached for him, ached to be inside. But he wasn’t going to rush. This moment would be emblazoned in his heart, the heat of their bodies scorching everything into his memory. He wanted to remember this the way Mike would, momentarily jealous of the way Mike’s mind worked. Then he forgot himself again as he pressed a second finger in alongside the first, and watched as Mike’s expression contorted in pleasure. Each breathed hard, short, desperate gaps filling the silence of the condo.

Mike fucked himself onto Harvey’s fingers, his need and desperation translated into delicious friction. When his moans changed pitch, Harvey knew he was ready. He withdrew for just a moment before lining up his hard, throbbing cock with Mike’s entrance. Mike nodded, gazing up into the brown eyes of his mentor-boss-partner-everything an marvelled at how black they had become, pupils blown as lust overwhelmed them both.

Inexorably slowly, Harvey pushed into Mike. First just the head of his cock, stretching and pushing, until it was gliding and Harvey knew he could go further, take more. He pushed on until he was fully seated, Mike wrapped hot and tight around him. He blew out a shuddery breath as Mike pressed feather light kisses to Harvey’s forearms. Mike’s patience was rewarded as Harvey was finally able to move again, in and out of Mike, their eyes fixed on each other. Mike matched each of Harvey’s thrusts, deeper, harder, until each man gasped and pleaded with the other for release.

Feeling the coil of his orgasm unfurl in his stomach, Harvey reached for Mike’s thus far neglected cock with a spit slick hand and began to twist and flick and pump in time with each languorous thrust. Mike’s eyes fluttered closed and Harvey stopped, suddenly desperate from the lost connection.

“No, Mike,” he gasped, ceasing his ministrations on Mike’s cock until he looked back up again. “Eyes on me, Mike, always eyes on me.”

Mike’s teeth ground into his lower lip but his gaze never wavered. His own orgasm hummed through him, aching for the final moment. Harvey saw it in the reflection of himself in Mike’s eyes. Three thrusts, two more, one final twist and they came together, a vibration of pleasure and love that washed through them both. Sweating and exhausted, Harvey rolled on to his side, dragging Mike’s pliant body with him—his need to maintain their connection almost visceral. Mike’s blue, blue eyes, dark now in the twilight of Harvey’s bedroom, watched him. And Harvey could see it, see it Mike’s very soul, that he would follow him anywhere.


End file.
